Creative/Roleplay: This isn't my Identity

I was linked this song through a friend, and though it's a good song standing on it's own, I find it relates to Maranari in a way through her background. One that I haven't brought forward too often with all the other things that are happening in game. Hints of it have been present in roleplay including the large Skype roleplay posted back in April and May.

It's hard to explain without spoiling things in upcoming roleplay but Mara did not have a rather pleasant childhood - this song relates to that time of her life. Reflections on how things were and how she is now.

"I can't help but close my eyes for life
And dream a different ending
That when I wake, I won't be so exhausted
And I will stop with my pretending
That I'm fine, I'm fine if I can fool myself tonight
And my lie will drown out all of yours"

Imagine a child Asura, trying to sleep at night, covered in burns and stitches, trying to fall asleep and get away from the world as she knows it. Being told by family she'll be alright and that everything that happens to her is for the good, meant for progress, for her benefit. She's tired, alone just wants to stay asleep, forget and wish that everything will be better.

"I will not bend until I break, how much can one bruised body take?
Just not enough to silence me, you're only a memory
I'll scream these words 'til they come true, then I will think no more of you
Look back on what I'm going through, this isn't my identity"

This haunts her as she grows up, pushing all that has happened to a memory - wanting to be something other than what she was, a mere tool for experimental use.

"You will bleed for what your hands have done
You can't outrun your ending
And I'll get well long before you let yourself
I may forgive you, but you never will

I will not bend until I break, how much can one bruised body take?
Just not enough to silence me, you're only a memory
I'll scream these words 'til they come true, then I will think no more of you
Look back on what I'm going through, this isn't my identity 

And I told you, I told you, you had no right
How damaged you must be
Watch you panic, it's tragic, you'll carry this for life
You have my sympathy"

Her voice taken from her, she pushes forward trying to live on without them with support of her friends and those around her, memories of her parents haunting her. This causes her to second guess who she is, concerned that she will sub-cum to being a tool all over again yet to new oenrs the process repeating all over again.

She withdraws without thinking of the negative impact of those around her.

"I will not bend until I break, how much can one bruised body take?
Just not enough to silence me, you're only a memory
I'll scream these words 'til they come true, then I will think no more of you
Look back on what I'm going through, this isn't my identity 

You're only a memory
This isn't my identity 

You're only a memory
This isn't my identity (I will not bend)
You're only a memory (I will not break)
This isn't my identity (I will not bend)
You're only a memory (I will not break)
This isn't my identity (I will not bend)
You're only a memory (I will not break)
This isn't my identity (I will not bend)
You're only a memory (I will not break)
This isn't my identity (I will not bend)
You're only a memory (I will not break)
This isn't my identity"

As some of the damage inflicted on her in the past is removed and she becomes more confident in her skills through trial and error a revelation of who she is, as her own being - not just a tool starts to take over. Feeling a renewal.

~~~~

I could elaborate more, but i n some ways it's hard to. I want to thank my friend Fable who sent me the song initally and showing me who Icon for Hire is. I've fallen in love with the band as I listen to the wonderful songs they've created full of emotions and overall amazing music. 

Till next time - hope you all enjoyed!

Cheers!